My husband likes to share his thoughts and insights with me. I’m glad. They help me and those who read my content.
Right now, my husband is listening to an audio book. In the book, someone asked, “What do you see when you look in the mirror?” The person who was asked the question, answered, “I see myself.”
My husband’s insight was this:
When we look in a mirror, we do not see ourselves.
We see everything in reverse.
We do not see ourselves as we are.
We see the opposite of who we are.
We see our flaws.
We see our imperfections.
It is when we look in a mirror that we become our worst critics.
He’s right. There have been times that I have looked in a mirror and been truly disappointed in what I see. Some of those times, I have turned to my husband and said, “I don’t see what you see. I don’t see what you find so attractive.”
He has kindly and lovingly taken the time to stand next to me, look in the mirror, and point out exactly what he sees that I like. Anytime I have said, “I see… and I don’t like it,” he has countered with, “Where you see…, I see…” and fills it will something reflected in my life represented by the “imperfections” I see in the mirror.
I realize that not everyone has a loving husband like mine. I also believe that EVERYONE has at least one friend who sees you at your best when you see yourself at your worst. If you do not have easy access to that person, I happily will fill the space by telling you what I see.
He’s right. There have been times that I have looked in a mirror and been truly disappointed in what I see. Some of those times, I have turned to my husband and said, “I don’t see what you see. I don’t see what you find so attractive.”
He has kindly and lovingly taken the time to stand next to me, look in the mirror, and point out exactly what he sees that he likes. Anytime I have said, “I see… and I don’t like it,” he has countered with, “Where you see…, I see…” and fills it with something reflected in my life represented by the “imperfections” I see in the mirror.
I realize that not everyone has a loving husband like mine. I also believe that EVERYONE has at least one friend who sees you at your best when you see yourself at your worst. If you do not have easy access to that person, I happily will fill the space by telling you what I see.
My invitation to you today is to choose to do at least one of these activities:
If you’re feeling especially vulnerable and comfortable with this friend, mention a few things that you see in yourself that you don’t like and allow your friend to respond. Make sure that you do not counter or rebut. Accept your friend’s honest praise openly and with gratitude. Try—at least for a moment—to see yourself the way your friend see you instead of the way you see yourself when you look in the reverse-view-making mirror. Remember the things your friend tells you so that you can remind yourself in the future when you see yourself in reverse.
For example, I often look in the mirror and dislike that I weigh significantly more than I did in my 20s. One way I can turn that is to be grateful that I have a warm home and plenty of food. I have plenty and to spare. This also gives me the opportunity to share my abundance. Also, because I am still mobile and all my joints work, I can still move, exercise, and enjoy life.
I’m 46. Not many 46-year-olds have the body of their 20s. Also, not everyone in this world lives to be 46. I have no heart problems. My asthma is minor and controllable. I have all my limbs. Everything works as it ought. I also have the ability to buy clothes that fit me and in which I feel attractive—even though my size has changed significantly in the last decade. I may not be a size 2 (or even a size 5 or 7), but I’m able to do, able to care for myself and others, and have cute clothes to adorn this not-size-two body that still turns my husband’s head. 
I may not always understand what he sees, but because I have practiced this myself, I see it more than I used to.
I invite you to try either or both of these things anytime you feel down or you hear yourself spouting negative self-talk to yourself. Eventually, it will become easy for you to reframe your perception of yourself so that you can begin to rewrite your present perception and redesign your future.