In business, we often hear the mantra, “People do business with people they ‘know, like, and trust.’”
In relationships, we seek to have the same combination.
This morning I was revisiting notes from a podcast I heard and online research I did regarding moving beyond “networking” to building true relationships with people. It struck a cord with me.
Suppose, you sought to build a relationship with yourself as someone you know, like and trust. How would that look? What would be different in your life as a result?
I work every day to help people (especially women) reframe their past, rewrite their present, and redesign their future. I do this with women who feel “just…” or “too…”
I also help women leaders to reframe their leadership—including how they developed the leadership pattern and style they currently use—in order to rewrite the efficiency and satisfaction in their teams today and redesign the results they create in the future.
I challenge you today to apply to yourself the things you seek in people that you know, like, and trust.
Consider what makes you choose to get to know someone. What engenders trust? How do you decide that you like someone? How can you apply this to yourself?
When I first started recognizing that I am a person worth knowing, liking, and trusting, I realized that I share things in common with people I admire. Some of the things that I admire in them I mimicked until I learned how to do them. Some of the things I admire were part of who I was and I didn’t recognize them.
Some things in this post may sound similar to my article in which I wrote that everything we like or everything we dislike in someone else is a mirror of something we like or dislike about ourselves. This is a theme that has shown up frequently in my life, thus, it shows up repeatedly in my articles. It gives a new opportunity to reframe experiences and responses. It gives new opportunities for insights.
Returning to the podcast and research I did about building true relationships instead of simply “connecting,” here are a few questions to ask yourself to determine how you can be someone you “know, like, and trust” more every day.
I got them from Dr. Arthur Aaron’s 36 questions to build intimacy. I think all 36 of his questions have great value for building an intimate relationship with yourself. I’m only sharing a few that struck me this morning.
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- What is your most treasured memory?
- If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
- Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
If you find yourself curious about any of my answers, reach out and ask me. I’d love to hear yours.